As my big sister prepares to embark on this sacred Blood Rite, I have been called to share this wisdom acquired from my own personal journey as a mother. Having a long and exhausting first labour, to then consciously free-birthing my second daughter, I hope these words help those on the sacred journey, the transition from Maiden to Mother. There is only so much I can share without going too in- depth, as I am in the process of creating a Conscious bEARTH e-course which explores some of these points in further detail.
13 pearls of wisdom for the transition of Maiden to Mother
1. Consciously letting go of the Maiden Self.
I did this intuitively and found it to be a really beautiful exercise in being completely present with this sacred rite of passage. Take some time out- perhaps even a couple of days when you are feeling very full and ripe. Connect with your breath and allow yourself to sit with your ‘individual’ self. Feel into all the dreams and desires you had up until this point, things that you may need to adjust or perhaps align to new dreams and goals now that you are to become a Mother. Write in your journal about how you are feeling in this moment. It is such a special time. This is the last moments of your being the individual Self.
Once you become a mother your whole world view expands and changes.
By acknowledging the profound change our life is about to take, we can step into the new in complete celebration and welcome the shift. It’s almost like a grieving stage but less intense.
I also recommend that fathers to be take this time out as well.
2. Take photographs and document your journey.
During my first pregnancy, I bought a disposable camera and at 13weeks, had my partner take a photograph every week on the same side. This was easy to remember what week we were up to aswell. I treasure these photographic memories so much. For my second pregnancy I had some professional photographs taken and some of them are absolutely breathtakingly beautiful! I thoroughly recommend taking some nude pics as the feminine form is so beautiful when ripe with creation! Some women like to keep journals and scrapbooks or find some creative outlet that documents the journey.
This can be a beautiful keepsake to pass onto your child once they come of age.
3. Be mindful of what you program yourself with.
Watch empowered births where the mother is active and engaged in the process of birthing her baby and absorb positive births stories to shape your belief and perceptions around labour. This will shape your mental state entering into the Birth Realms.
Steer off overly DRAMATIC birth videos!
4. During labour, remember to relax your jaw!
The throat and the womb are connected energetically. The key is to listen to the sounds… A woman in a deep and surrendered state of labour will have ‘opening’ sounds and deep guttural moaning. She will ride her contractions with her breath and use her sounds to create vibrations that help to override the intensity of sensations- allowing her to open and surrender to the process of birth. If the sound is in the upper registers of the voice then chances are woman has not yet dropped into the primal state, which will most likely lead to a longer labour.
Remember relaxed jaw relaxed yoni!
5. Birth is MESSY!
Get over it now so that you can relax into the whole process of birth. There is no need to feel embarrassed or shameful. I remember watching a birthing video where the narrator said “And now the anus opens like a lotus flower” aside from laughing at the time, I discovered that during vaginal birth, the newborn becomes inoculated with beneficial microflora from vaginal and fecal matter of the mother.
6. If you haven’t already, start a dialogue with your baby.
In Utero, the baby absorbs sensory information about its external world in preparation for survival outside the womb. Touching your belly and speaking to your child, helps to not only reassure, but imprint baby with love and gratitude for its being. You can also talk to your baby about how you would like to experience labour and birth, what you have planned and how you would like the baby to respond during contractions etc.
7. Use an online app to track your baby’s development…
Then focus your energy and awareness into which body part is growing and being developed. This was a concept shared with me by a dear sister of mine and I can honestly say that it made the pregnancy a more richer and deeply connected experience.
8. What’s it for and is it necessary?
A mantra that my wise midwife preached by encouraging me to question everything. This was handy in reference to ultra-sounds, vaccinations, supplements etc.
9. Have a Blessingway to celebrate this sacred rite of passage and connect with your sisterhood.
There are many rituals you can create, I personally love the bead ceremony with traditions from Africa and North America. Henna on the ripe belly is also a beautiful experience and is said to bring protection energy to you and baby.
10. You have the right to choose what is best for you and your baby!
Having said that, it pays to research your options and become as informed as possible as to ways you can create the best birthing environment for you to feel safe and supported. I thoroughly recommend having birth support partners, those who will be your voice on the big day so that you can fully let go and surrender to the process of bringing your baby into the world as safely as possible.
11. The veil between life and death is so delicate- especially during labour.
Acknowledge the mystery that surrounds birth and make peace with the fact that your birth may not go to plan, and that is ok. You will do your best and prepare yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to be able to fully receive your child. Your experience is your own, every birth is sacred and beautiful and very, very different. Be aware of this strange energy that for some reason makes labour a competition to have the best “birth story” at the end….
There is no such thing as a “perfect birth”.
12. Learn about how wonderful placentas are and read into Lotus Birth or delayed chord clamping.
I have been called to share wisdom about returning Placenta’s to the Earth. Both of my daughters were Lotus Births and their placentas buried in the Earth, in a ritual with a fruit tree on top and a time capsule full of blessings from family and friends.
What has come through in my dreaming is that the return of placentas is to give that individual a sense of place and belonging, keeping them grounded to the Earth, and creates a connection for becoming a conscious custodian of the land for future generations.
13. This birth, once established will be a sacred blood rite… a rite of passage.
You have chosen and have been chosen to embark on this journey that connects you with an ancient lineage of all mothers who have walked before you. It is important to know, that when it comes to full ripeness, you will be connected in a bEARTH grid- that is open to all laboring women around the globe. You can tap into the strength of this space once you are in Labour. It is an unspoken realm laced with mystery and possibility.
You are not alone
Blessings to all Mothers…past, present and future… and too those who have experienced loss. xx